How to set a table, according to an etiquette expert
‘Tis the season to brush up on your formal place settings
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The best way to make a good impression this holiday season is with a gorgeously set table. When you’re having guests over for a dinner party or the holidays, the dinner table is the focal point, but not all of us know how to put together a proper table setting.
You’ll be pleased to hear that the task is not a difficult one. Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, founder and president of The Etiquette School of New York and author of The Art of Dining Well—Everything You Need to Know to Shine at the Table, broke down how to set the table for the holidays into four easy steps so that you can lose the stress and focus on enjoying time with your guests.
Here’s how to set the table.
Step 1: Lay out the dishes and utensils
There are several different considerations when it comes to formal place settings, but the main rules are:
Set dishes in the center of the place setting. The charger plate, also known as the dinner plate, at the bottom, the salad plate on top, and the soup bowl on top of that.
For a more casual table, silverware goes to the right. If you’re going for a basic table setting, silverware should go to the right of the plate. Place silverware on a folded napkin with the fork closest to the plate followed by the knife and spoon moving outward.
The forks go to the left of the dishes. At mealtime, forks are used from the outside in; for example, if salad is being served first, the salad fork should be outermost, while the main meal fork should be closest to the plate.
The bread plate and butter knife sit above the forks.
Set out knives and spoons to the right of the dishes. Place the knife closest to the plate and the spoon on the outside.
The glassware sits above the knives and spoons. Place water glasses and wine glasses above the knives and spoons. Napier-Fitzpatrick recommends paying special attention to the cleanliness of the glassware since water spots make a place setting appear dirty.
Place dessert utensils on the table horizontally above the dishes. Don’t place the dessert plates on the dishes directly. For example, if you are only having cake, you don’t need a spoon. Alternatively, if you are only having sorbet, you don’t need a fork.
Put a set of salt and pepper shakers at the end of each table. For smaller tables, one set in the center is fine.
Plan and prepare for what serving utensils are needed. If you are serving a turkey, carving utensils should be on hand, or if you are having mashed potatoes, a serving spoon should be served with the bowl.
Step 2: Fold the napkins
Folding the napkins may feel like an art form you aren’t familiar with, but this step is easy enough that you can even get the kids to help. “Napkins are a personal choice,” explains Napier-Fitzpatrick. “They provide an opportunity for the host to showcase their sense of style sense.”
Whether you choose to fold them into a fan or roll them into a napkin ring, Napier-Fitzpatrick recommends using napkins that are linen or cotton.
Napier-Fitzpatrick suggests that no matter what napkin you choose, they all be ironed and wrinkle-free, assuring that “they don’t even all need to match, they simply need to coordinate.” Once folded, set the napkins on top of the plates to bring the setting together into a decorated space.
These cute Christmas tree napkin rings can really ring together a place setting.
The Solino napkins come in sets of four and are 100% linen.
Step 3: Dress up the setting
“When you go to a formal dinner party, the aesthetic pleasure is almost as appealing as eating the meal,” explains Napier-Fitzpatrick. “It says that you care enough to make it nice for your guests, to make it festive, and to make it appealing,” which is why dressing up the place setting can be just as important, if not more important, than the rest of the table setting.
Place cards are an excellent idea, especially if guests may not know each other, partners desire to sit together, to ensure honored guests are seated near the host, or even just to make people feel welcome.
They also show guests that you have prepared a space especially for them as if you are greeting them to your holiday meal.
“For formal meals, seating plays an important part in placing guests at the table,” explains Napier-Fitzpatrick, “I for instance, always placed my mother-in-law to my husband’s right side at the table for Thanksgiving.”
It’s also a great idea to set your table with a small gift for your guests which can double as décor, dessert, or a little take-home gift.
“I am a huge fan of little chocolate turkeys,” Napier-Fitzpatrick says, although the options are endless.
These classy white and gold place cards are perfect for any holiday table.
Each chocolate candy from Madelaine comes wrapped in a colorful foil.
Step 4: Select and arrange the centerpiece
“The biggest mistake that a host can make when selecting a centerpiece, is to choose something that is too large or too tall,” warns Napier-Fitzpatrick. “A good rule of thumb in how to set the table is to make sure that your guests can see and interact with each other across the table.”
Another word of caution she has is to make sure that whatever you choose isn’t too fragrant.
“Strongly scented flowers or candles can actually affect the way guests perceive their food,” she says, since your sense of smell and taste are so closely intertwined.
But beyond that, the options are endless and you can really let your creative side shine. Low set glass dishes filled with artificial gourds and pumpkins, ornaments, pinecones, or other festive items are a popular choice, and battery powered candles can help to set the ambiance while still keeping safety in mind.
Whatever you choose, make sure that you leave room for the main dishes if you plan to set them on the table during the meal; you don’t want everything to appear cramped.
This acrylic vase is a perfect foundation for your table's centerpiece.
This colorful selection of artificial pumpkins and gourds are delightful fall décor.
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