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Reviewed / Tara Jacoby
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A lover of all things novelty, I found my passion for sex toys that don’t look like sex toys when someone gifted me the Rub My Duckie, a vibrator masquerading as a rubber duck. It was one of my first, and I rapidly discovered the hidden (pun intended) benefits of secret sex toys.
When I first entered the world of sexual wellness, I felt intimidated by vibrators and sex toys. Societal taboos surrounding openness about sexual wellness even had me feeling a little dirty for wanting to own one. But as it turns out, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to wanting to own sex toys, as pleasure is as much a part of sexual wellness as periods and annual exams.
But for those still feeling a bit daunted by the more anatomically explicit or downright intense designs, looking into less obvious, more discreet sex toys is a good starting point. Additionally, it’s nice knowing that if an impromptu visitor were to stop by, you wouldn’t have to panic about the toy you accidentally left sitting on the bedside or drying in the shower.
Below, you’ll find eight discreet sex toys that might even fool your mother when she visits and examines every inch of your apartment.
Emojibator Chili Pepper
Add a little bit of spice to your sex life with the Emojibator Chili Pepper.
If you’re looking to spice up your sex life (not literally because, ouch), then this Chili Pepper vibrator from Emojibator is the way to go. The super-soft body-safe silicone and perfectly tapered chili “tip” makes for divine targeted stimulation. The brand is known for its fun novelty sex toy designs and has enough emoji-inspired sex toy picks for you to build a whole produce basket.
So, you know, if groceries aren’t your thing, you can consider adorning your kitchen counter with a fruit bowl complete with a Strawberry, Eggplant, Banana, Pickle, Cherry, and, of course, the Chili Pepper. And since it’s good to always wash your produce, you can do so safely, knowing these are waterproof. Additionally, all are rechargeable, which beats food with an expiration date.
This vibrator looks just like the chili pepper emoji, but it’s actually a powerful lipstick vibrator that features a whopping 10 vibration settings.
Read Our ReviewCrave Vesper 2
Save yourself some carry-on space when travelling by wearing this clever vibrator around your neck. You heard us right!
There’s something so empowering and sex-positive about wearing a secret sex toy disguised as simple jewelry. For me, it’s a way of expressing the fact that I control my sexual freedom. I’ve seen necklace vibes before, but they’ve often had an aesthetic appeal closer to a lifeguard whistle than jewelry. Crave has achieved that particularly well with simple 24K plated gold, silver, onyx, rose gold, or two-tone metal pieces. Each necklace, an elegant slender metal pendant on a matching chain, is fully waterproof and rechargeable, and you can top off any outfit with this necklace, and those around you will be none the wiser. Cycle through the different intensities and modes using the tiny button on the pendant.
Don’t underestimate this little accessory because it’s hyper-powerful and packs a significant punch. This is a piece I was truly blown away by as every detail of the Vesper 2 was thoughtfully designed to serve a purpose–its modern shape, for example, isn’t just there for aesthetic appeal but provides some of the best targeted stimulation I’ve found in any toy to-date. While you’re at it, you should probably pick up a matching pair of ID Cuffs or their leather cousin, the Icon Cuffs, which can be stacked as a statement bracelet or worn as cuffs during sex.
This sex toy can be worn around your neck for discreet pleasure.
Cute Little Fuckers Princette
The Cute Little Fuckers Princette is proof that not all monsters are scary.
There’s an endless array of butt plugs out there, many of which come in various colors, materials, and finishes. But even if they come with a decorative flared base, they’re often still very much identifiable as a butt plug. This is where Princette stood out to me. This little octopus? Puppy? I’m not really sure what this little creature is.
It’s shaped like a butt plug and has that flared base (something you should always make sure a toy has if you’re going to use it for internal anal stimulation). However, it’s cute enough to pass as one of those blind box-adjacent figurines that everyone loves decorating their desks and shelves with.
Cute Little Fuckers is known for its gender-neutral approach to all its multi-function toys. So although fantastic as a butt plug, Princette’s textured tip also makes it perfect for clitoral stimulation. And if you’re into nipple teasing, the little “tentacles” are ideal for “hugging” your nipple with vibrating pleasure.
This adorable little monster can be used as an internal or external vibrator, but it looks like something you’d pick up from a boutique Etsy shop.
Read Our ReviewUnihorn Heart Throb Unicorn Pulsating Vibrator
We guarantee your experience with the Unihorn Heart Throb will surely be magical.
I immediately knew I had to have one of these whimsical little vibrators when I saw them. The brand offers five different unicorns, each with a unique mouth that offers fluttering, tongue, massaging, pulsing, or twirling sensations. To choose the most unassuming unicorn, I went for the pink Heart Throb as its mouth is perfectly rounded like a horse’s nose and didn’t look out of place sitting on my bookshelf beside my vintage My Little Ponies. This playful-looking toy isn’t just a sub-par novelty item though. I discovered that it has a powerful dual motor that lets you choose between switching on the pulsing mouth, the vibrating body, or both.
With this, I found that the powerful pulsing provided a unique sensation I hadn’t yet seen in a vibrator, as it was most pleasurable when I hovered it just above my clitoris, still keeping it extremely close but just not touching. This way, the rapid pulsing seemed even more titillating than when pressing it against myself.
She looks like a desk toy but packs enough power to send you to the stars.
Satisfyer Glowing Ghost
This Glowing Ghost vibrator is a little less spooky and little more sexy.
Beware, as this ghost will haunt you…with constant thoughts of the pleasure it brings. But luckily, you won’t have to banish this phantom to the clutches of a secret locked drawer as this isn’t a ghostly presence to be feared, but more so openly allowed to sit on your bedside table.
Its glow-in-the-dark body will illuminate your nights, and its air-pulsing mouth will give you all the right kind of goosebumps. I found that the all-white body gave this toy a sleek appearance. At the same time, its ghostly disguise kept it inconspicuous enough for me to feel okay leaving this waterproof toy to dry on my bathroom counter after taking it for a sultry shower.
I’ve never been so turned on by something so spooky (except Edward Scissorhands, don’t judge me).
Big Teaze Toys Rub My Duckie
Bath time just got a whole lot better!
The first time I saw the Rub My Duckie toy, I thought it was absolutely genius. It epitomizes a perfect novelty vibe where a harmless iconic toy was given an adult upgrade. You can use the ducky’s head for softer stimulation, and for more targeted pleasure, go for the tail. It’s simple, straightforward, and effective.
A hidden sex toy that's truly hiding in plain site, this one sits in my bathtub beside a real, non-vibrating duck. And even my mother, who has visited me and used my shower on numerous occasions, has been none the wiser.
This toy looks exactly like a rubber ducky, but it’s actually a vibrator in disguise.
Iroha Temari Kazé
Though this compact teaser may look like a quirky lip balm, it's actually a vibrating egg that packs a serious punch.
I stumbled upon Iroha while doing research for this piece. I was instantly awed by their gorgeous selection of toys that look more like miniature works of modern art than vibrators. The Temari Kazé captured my attention as it was unlike any vibrator I’d seen before. In fact, I found it so distinctive that it’s currently sitting on my bedside table and evokes no resemblance to something I might be concerned about any impromptu visitors catching a glimpse of. Its egg shape and colorful Japanese-inspired designs adorning the top make it look like a small trinket box or decorative globe.
As far as the vibration goes, this pretty egg can reach powerful intensities with minimal vibrations to be felt by the holder, as the toy’s exterior is designed to protect you from uncomfortable radiating vibrations in your hand. The rounded shape lets you choose between more dispersed external stimulation to your vulva but still truly delivers if you prefer to place it directly over your clitoris. Unlike the occasional over-stimulation from a more narrow vibrating tip, I found it highly comfortable. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t powerful, though, as the highest setting was no joke and took me to a double orgasm when I worked my way up to it following the first.
This toy looks like an inconspicuous desk lamp, but it’s much more than that.
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